[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
Joel Byers' LiveJournal:
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|Monday, March 10th, 2014|
|Friday, January 4th, 2013|
It's 2013 and I'm still alive. The evil dead squirrels are chittering at my front door whispering their sibilant deviant desires, but I won't let them in unless they pay the ferrycat of doooom.
Yeppers, its 2013 and the apocalypse de jour will be one featuring demonic squirrels of the Lovecraftian dimension.
T-shirts and bumper-stickers will be available.
|Monday, May 21st, 2012|
|It's 2012 and I need a Post
It's 2012 (May 21, 2012) and I need a post to peg this year down. Lots of drabble writing on sharedwords.net so less here. So far so good with the boys, or at least what I can write about. Hope all are doing well.
|Monday, September 12th, 2011|
|Three weeks ago Wednesday
Three weeks ago Wednesday I broke my ankle (WWS)*. Today I finally went back to work. In five years I'll retire, the past two and a half weeks have been like a preview of my retirement (sans broke ankle). I could get used to that in a New York minute.
* WWS - walking while sober.
|Monday, July 18th, 2011|
I watch "Time Bandits" for the first time last night and I noticed something sorta odd. The main evil character was also the main evil character in the first Tron, right? Time Bandits came out in 1981 and Tron in 1982. So why was the evil dude going on and on and on about "computers" in Time Bandits? I was thinking that Terry Gilliam was doing a salute to the role he play on Tron, but Time Bandits came first. Has anyone else noticed this?
|Tuesday, December 21st, 2010|
Why isn't the Winter Solstice the last day of the year and the next day the beginning of the new year? Wouldn't that make just too damn much sense?
|Tuesday, September 7th, 2010|
|Wow, even psuedo-Mondays suck
The human resource chick came into my office this morning and said that the state was discontinuing my health plan. I'd have to either go to the HMO, High Deductible or the Donut-Plan. All of those suck except for the HMO and the nearest HMO is over 70 miles away.
Come December I'm going to have to find an extra $200 a month for insurance, I already pay $300 a month for my current plan.
Guys, I'm really starting to hurt here.
|Tuesday, July 27th, 2010|
Jeremy is growing a beard and mustache. He looks like Maynard G. Krebs from Dobie Gillis. If I could teach him to snap his fingers, I'd send him to school with the stash and chin hair.
|Monday, March 15th, 2010|
|Matt & Charlie
Okay, that's the last of Matt and Charlie that I have at this time. When I write some more, I'll start posting them again.
Also, any questions about the brave undead, dead, and suspiciously mobile hunters will be happily answered.
|Thursday, March 4th, 2010|
|Today I'm 47
Today I'm 47 years old. Woooooo. Which means my sister is 48 and my brother is 41. HA. It also means son #1 is 20 and son #2 (also known as MyGODwhatwereyouTHINKING!) is 18. I'm officially middle-aged, which means that I can start wearing the 13th Century Monk's robe and cut my hair to have that really cool bald spot on the very tippy top. Still have a job, still have most of my hair, and I keep my sense of humor sharp and polished, so I guess that means I'm winning.
Ya'll have a fun day today and raise a toast to March 4, also hereby officially known as Bearhand Day.
|Wednesday, October 28th, 2009|
|Bewitched a nation
Has anyone else noticed this? President Obama really does resemble Darrin Stephens ((The first one, not the second) and Mrs. Obama looks a lot like Samantha Stephens of the Old TV show Bewitched.
Could it be?
Is there a Doctor Bombay running around the White House somewhere?
|Friday, October 9th, 2009|
I'm a very shocked this morning. Obama, the man I voted for and support, won the Nobel Peace Prize. Being elected President of the United States does not qualify one for that prize. I believe he is more than capable of performing actions on behalf of the United States that will more than qualify him for this award, but as of right now, I don't believe he's earned it.
My personal opinion is that he should graciously turn it down.
|Wednesday, April 29th, 2009|
|Wednesday, April 15th, 2009|
|A bad joke
I heard a bad joke today and I want to share my observations about that joke.
It went like this,
President Obama and his wife were attending the Washington National's first baseball game of the season and were sitting in seats right behind first base. The general manager of the Nationals walked up to President Obama and whispered in his ear. The President smiled and said, "You bet I would!" and then grabbed his wife and threw her on the field.
The Nat's general manager looked with shock at Mrs. Obama lying on the field and said, "Mr. President, I said would you like to throw out the first pitch!"
After hearing that joke, I realized that it must be at least 109 years old. I am sure it was told during Clinton's presidency, Roosevelt's presidency, Truman's, Harding's and Hoover's. There is nothing new under the sun. I wonder if ancient Rome had a similar traditional for the first gladiator game of the season (like throwing out the first christian) and if a similar joke was told.
It's a big circle of life thingy. (that's science kiddos)
|Wednesday, April 1st, 2009|
Apparently I'm a jerk.
At 8:30 AM today, I phoned the ex-wife up and the conversation went like this.
"AJ, Jordan's in a little bit of trouble at school?" (Jordan's 17)
"Well, what is it? I don't have much time, I'm late getting Kooper up and Sophie's hungry." (Kooper's 4 and Sophie's 15 months - AJ's remarried with kids)
"Jordan's been sent home from school."
"It's because two girls got into a fight this morning."
"Why does that concern Jordan?"
"One of them's pregnant."
There was a long pregnant pause and I couldn't even hear her breathe. Finally I said, "Amy, are you sitting down?"
She answered with her voice choked up and fluttering, "I-I-I am n-n-n-owww."
You could tell her stomach had dropped to her feet.
I then said, "April Fool."
She replied, "I hate you," and hung up.
She called back 20 minutes later and told me she had just pulled the same joke on her mom. Ex-wives can be really cool sometimes.
|Thursday, December 18th, 2008|
Just got done spending 10 days at the posh resort in North Atlanta. It's called Scottish Rites Hospital. Oldest son had a raging case of pneumonia that wouldn't get better. On Dec 8th his GP decided enough was enough and sent our butts down to Scottish Rites. We saw the pulminary speciliast, the gastro specialist, and some really hot nurses, respiratory therapists, and physical therapists.
At first the eggheads were pushing the idea that Jere-bear was aspirating his food and that's why he's started getting the lung junk. I wasn't buying it. He had a swallow study four years ago that showed that he wasn't aspirating food. Turns out I was right. The upper GI test he had this week showed that Jeremy was refluxing again. He's been aspirating his own stomach acid. The surgery he had 13 years ago finally broke down. They're going to have to go back and redo the reflux surgery and fix an upper esophagus hernia in 6 to 8 weeks. In the meantime, he is not allowed to eat. A g-j tube was inserted and now all of his food is run through that tube. Liquid only that runs straight to his intestine, bypassing his stomach. He is so unhappy. His mobility is now severely restricted and his poop is now watery and toxic. Both of those have him intensely depressed. He's just been laying in his bed crying and sleeping. If he could talk, I know he'd be asking why we've made him a prisoner in his own bed.
Only 41 ro 55 more days until he has the surgery and he can resume eating and moving and playing like his normal self.
|Thursday, December 4th, 2008|
|Writer's Block: Gone but Not Forgotten
Many beloved television shows are no longer with us, like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Six Feet Under, and Mystery Science Theater 3000. What defunct television show do you miss the most?
The HBO series Carnival and I believe it was on Showtime, "Dead Like Me"
|Saturday, November 29th, 2008|
Did it, hit 50,000 + in nanowrimo.
That is a creative, fun, tedious at times, happy task.
|Sunday, November 9th, 2008|
Eric's and Scott's nanowrimo stories are better than mine. I truly hate them, but not enough to sabotage them in their writing. I am amazed at how original Eric's writings are, even using a character that no other writer has ever based a story upon. It's a truly wonderful tale and I want him to finish it so I can read it. And then steal it.
Once again, Scott's tale is interesting and engrossing. Mine is just a story about an alternate unisverse me. Big wooooop.
Scott, Eric, you both know that eventually, I'll have to feed you to the cannabilistic monkeys that infest the forgotten sewers of Cary, North Carolina.
|Friday, November 7th, 2008|